School Schedules Suck and Dancing is Expensive

I am so tired of trying to manage my family's diverse schedules and school has only been in 4 weeks. I have 4 kids, all in elementary school, but they attend 3 different schools. Two go to middle school and start at 8:15 a.m., one goes to primary school and starts at 8:10 a.m., and the youngest is in Grade One French Immersion and starts at 9:10 a.m. Two walk, one gets a ride and one takes a bus. I have to be at work at 8:30 a.m., and the bus doesn't arrive until 8:55 a.m. - when it's on time, which so far it hasn't been. Thank god my husband is self-employed and can stay home in the mornings to make the bus drop-off. School ends for the older three at 2:45 p.m., but our youngest is dropped off at 4:20 p.m. two blocks from our house, so her sisters have to leave the house again a half hour after they get home to walk up the street to get her.

I have no idea as to the reason that all schools under the same Board don't have the same schedule, but whatever it is I'm sure it makes no sense whatsoever. When I was a kid everyone went to school from 8:50 - 3:25 no matter what school you attended. If Steve couldn't walk my daughter to her bus in the morning, my choices would have been to (a) ask to change my hours at work (never a good idea when you work for a lawyer), (b) arrive late for work every day, or (c) quit my job altogether and become a stay-at-home mom again. Some would say the obvious answer is to hire before-and-after school care. Obvious to people with money maybe; we can't afford that.

Everything about raising kids today is designed to make us spend a fortune. Our society's all-encompassing focus on our kids has driven a 25 year spending frenzy that has proven unsustainable. Kids today have their own computers, and TVs and video game systems in their rooms. Our houses have tripled in size so that none of the little darlin's have to suffer the indignity of sharing a room with a sibling. They have designer clothes from La Senza Girl and Garage. They go to hockey practice, dance lessons, and attend tutoring sessions. And don't even get me started on the cell phone/iPod/whatever the lastest craze is. I know parents who took a second mortgage out on their home to pay for dance lessons. If your kid is actually destined to be the next Karen Kain, taking such a step might be warranted, but the majority of kids are not that talented or driven, and don't need or want such intensive training.

Advertising company's marketing budgets for children now run into the billions of dollars, all geared to milk every last buck out of Mom and Dad's empty pockets. What they've done is turn what were once casual fun activities into possible future careers and/or resume boosters, and so these opportunities must be provided so one's little protege doesn't lag behind the other parents' baby Einsteins. I spent my summers at a typical summer camp, swimming, hiking, and singing around a campfire. ( We also spent a lot of time torturing the weaker members of our herd and trying to sneak a peek at the male staff when they went skinny-dipping, but that's never in the brochure.) Today, kids go to soccer camp, science camp, dance camp, hockey camp - wherever their specialized interest takes them. They still have some old fashioned "camp" activities, but they are offered during leisure time - the majority of their day is spent practicing and/or studying. I remember my ex telling me that he loved hockey until the year his parents sent him to hockey camp. They played hockey morning, noon and night - by the end of the two weeks he was exhausted and so sick of hockey he never picked up a stick again. Now, I doubt he was ever going to be any competition for Wayne Gretzky, but he enjoyed the game and the overkill ruined it for him forever.

It is very difficult today to find an inexpensive activity on a casual basis for kids. When I enquired last year about dance lessons for my girls, I was told you had to sign up for the entire session year (September to June) and the cost was $900.00 - for ONE kid. And that did not include additional costs for costumes etc.. The expression on my face must have alarmed the instructor, who hastened to advise me that for my convenience, they were pleased to offer their "9 installment payment plan," payable by Visa, Mastercard, Interac or cheque. My response was a somewhat cleaner version of the Eddie Murphy quote, "Get the f**k outta my face with that bullshit!" (Beverly Hills Cop - great movie.)

What are parents of modest means, with children who just want to dance for fun, supposed to do? My girls would love to take dance lessons, but at those prices, there's not a chance in hell. And this is the predicament I am in for riding lessons, music lessons, and anything else they are interested in. I am a legal secretary and make a decent salary, but it only covers the base expenses. My husband's income is irregular which makes it difficult to plan ahead. I just can't afford to send them to anything at today's prices, so an opportunity for fun and personal growth is missed.

For me, the worst part is having to say no when the girls ask me for things. I hate that I can't give them any of these opportunities, especially when I had camp, yearly Caribbean vacations and my own horse when I was growing up - but then, I had no siblings and two full-time working parents with good government jobs plus full benefits. That guilt is what the advertising agencies are counting on. And what gets forgotten is that the parents who shell out the cash even when they can't afford it do so to their own detriment. A large percentage of North Americans between 30 and 55 have little or no retirement savings. They are using their strongest earning years to fund their children's activities and futures. And while we should of course support our children, we also have to support ourselves. Most people do not want to be a burden to their kids, but I expect in 25 years we will see a huge increase in the number of parents who have to move in with their kids, because they won't have the necessary money for nursing homes, retirement homes, or personal support care for themselves. And neither will their children since these same kids are not likely learning much about saving.

We try to show our kids how to have fun without spending a ton of cash or signing a twelve month contract. We go camping, we go to the park, we go to movies. My kids love browing the Salvation Army store and used book stores. We also go to the family swims at the community pools, which is still an inexpensive activity. Once a year we spend a week at a cottage we rent - $750 for one week, plus food. We try to deflect the constant bombardment of shopping requests with life lessons on how to live within your means and save your money. Right now they can get bummed they don't have a lot of what their friends have. I am hoping they will appreciate and use the lessons when they are adults, and not find themselves in the same hole so many adults nowdays are in.

I don't know how I segued from bitching about the school board to the cost of raising kids in the 21st century - must be because I'm getting tired. I keep writing these things at midnight because it's the only time it's quiet. There are probably mistakes in the above, but I'm too tired to proofread anymore. I did see a typo in my last blog entry; not a great advertisement for a would-be writer. In my defence, I have a very uncomfortable chair.

And So It Begins...

This is my first post on my first blog! Unfortunately it won't be anything too profound as it's almost midnight and I'm exhausted lol. I will have to finish setting it up tomorrow, right afer I work all day/get supper/pick up toys/get 4 kids bathed/finish laundry.

Goodnight all. Looking forward to tomorrow.